I am a sinner. Yes I know all of us are born sinners, but I consider myself far more of a sinner than others. For 21 years of my life I have done the most horrible and ungrateful things a son, a nephew, and a friend could have done. But I'm not afraid to admit it. Yes I did, and continue to do petty acts that can make my parents' blood pressure go sky rocketing. If you know the seven deadly sins, I think I've done almost every one of them. Yet, as I continue to live my life full of sins, I know God has been, and will be watching me for the rest of my life here on earth.
I am the eldest son of a simple couple living in Quezon City. I was raised disciplined by my mom and dad, who often scolds me and spanks my ass during my childhood days, due to the fact that I am very stubborn (almost everyone was, I think). As I continue to grow, people have noticed that I am getting more stubborn than usual. I pick fights, I stole things, did vices and pretty much anything that you can think of except for drugs. Even after I joined YFC - A community-based, christ-centered organization, I continue to become more and more sinful, to think that I was one of their leaders. And there was a point in my life that I have stopped believing that God existed. Yet, after all of the things that I have done, after all of the pain and sorrow that I have gave to those who love me, God didn't end my life at that.
Right now, I'm speaking (or blogging) about this, a few minutes after being enlightened, not by a book or any kind of media, but a reflection. I realized that even if I am a black sheep, or even if I am the biggest pain in the ass in my family, I know, I can change. And that change starts now. No more second thoughts, no more excuses. I have become the deepest pain of my parents, my relatives, even my grandparents, and this has to stop. I know, I will sin more in the future, as others- even priests and nuns, may do. But I know that I should bring back myself to God, who was always knocking on my heart's door, telling me that if others stopped believing in me, He didn't. And that he has that infinite faith that I will start the change in me. I have become a critic of politics, people, and everything. I also have the fair share of being in the opposite end of the rainbow. But I know now that I should stop criticizing others, and start building my life back again. Let me be an example of someone that fell down into the unfathomable abyss of sin, and rose to tell the world how great my God is. Let me be the best example of how someone so sinful, runs back to his Father. Let me be a real-life prodigal son. Let me do things for God. As a song my tita taught me when I was a child, "natatakot, nadadapa, maya't-maya'y lumuluha. Kailangan ko ng kaibigan na lagi kong maasahan... Siya ay si Hesus."
As a final word for my audience, I leave you with these words to ponder:
Men may stop believing and loving you, but never give up. For God will still have the faith in you, no matter what circumstances you're experiencing.
